I first met him in my dream

I often dream of that place.

I want to become the person in my dreams. I record them, hoping to find their traces. I want to experience them as best as I can. And if it's possible, I want my warm dreams to consume me.

I wish I wouldn't wake up from these dreams. When I wake up, only a cold wall will stare at me. There is no loving gaze like what I see in my dreams. I yearn for that gaze. There is no gentle touch like what I feel in my dreams. I yearn for that touch. There are no warm feelings like what I sense in my dreams. I yearn for that warmth. I wish I could stay in those dreams.

—-

I first met him in my dream.

He looked just like the man I yearn for, but he had sadness and loneliness in his eyes. I thought he was just an apparition, but he kept appearing, looking at the woman next to the man I yearn for with such longing eyes. So I took my first steps to approach him. He had a confused look in his eyes when he saw me. I asked him who he was and if he knew or related to the man. He said he wanted to be that man.

At that moment, tears rolled down my cheeks and he wiped them with his thumb. "Don't cry," he said. He looked both concerned and relieved when he touched my cheek and said, "I will stay with you, until you don't feel like crying anymore."

Every night we met in dreams. We gazed at the couple, watching them from afar. Slowly his eyes started to look warm. Then one day, I grabbed his hand and took him to a dessert cafe. He looked very awkward but I could see he was enjoying the macarons we had. He looked at me with a gentle smile and said, "As long as I have something sweet, I'll be happy even on a bad day."

I woke up. He wasn't around, just like the man I always yearn for, and I wonder if he would still eat sweets wherever he is now. I hope he at least feels happy with the sweets. Because I only wish happiness for him.

My dear Dawnbreaker.

----

Guest post by Erin @akiyamaerin on IG

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